Pick Up Your Crown, Queen

Where are you fear? I am here. I sit in the darkness of fear and welcome it here.

You have known me before, many times and in many ways.

Show me your gifts.

Your fear is tangible. It has created everything around you. Your anger hides it.

Anger, I know you are there. Show me your lessons.

You have betrayed yourself too many times and in too many ways.

Betrayal; show me your lessons.

I am one with anger. We are united. Who do you think you are fooling, playing games with your heart? You were fooling yourself into believing an illusion, acting like life is a fantasy world. Your fear of betrayal comes from your own lack of self-worth, allowing life to shit on you while you stood still. Are you serious with this victim bullshit? That’s the same shit that pisses you off. When did you sacrifice your self-respect for a fantasy? It was every time you bowed to someone else’s whims. It was every time you silenced your voice, and every time you sacrificed your choice. Are you going to go on like this forever? Let go of the bullshit lies once and for all. Stop walking around like a demure kitten, it is fucking stupid! Grow the fuck up, and RISE up! You are playing small with your own life. It’s your choice, and no one else’s.

How am I playing small?

You play small when you silence yourself, by acting all “love and light” instead of being honest. Where is your self-dignity? Does what you are doing FEEL right?

No.

Positive change has never happened without rebellion. Rebel against the lies you have lived by.

Show me my own lies.

The lie that you do not have power, that you cannot make different choices, and that you cannot own your own life.

Do you feel that nausea, that sick feeling, and a gut knowing that something isn’t right?

What is it trying to tell me?

You are acting like a child-victim. You are not powerless anymore. You are choosing fear over freedom.

What am I afraid of?

You are afraid you are not enough.

What part of me am I ignoring?

You are ignoring your birthright to freedom and power. Do you feel free?

No.

Take off the blinders and wake up! Your life is happening right NOW. What are you waiting for!? Are you waiting for someone to tell you of your greatness or grant you permission? You’re so afraid of making the wrong choice.

Show me truth.

YOU ARE truth. Truth is not black and white; it is a million shades of gray. To only honor your love and light is to honor half of life. Your anger is showing you where you lack authenticity in your life. Who are you angry at?

Myself. Why am I angry at myself?

You are lacking the integrity to speak up about your own needs and then meet them in whatever way is necessary. Fuck that unloving mother within you. Mother yourself! Would you stand by and let your child be unnurtured, unsupported, and disrespected? Then why are you allowing it for yourself?

I have not paid attention; it has become familiar.

You pursued an outside dream all the while allowing disrespect to seep into your own psyche. Where is your dignity and self-respect as a sovereign being? Pick up your crown, Queen. You are a warrior; a luminous warrior who knows her own worth. Welcome rejection: it will show you where your wounds are that still need healing. It will ALL show you your own light.

Who am I meant to become?

You are meant to step into your own power, the power that already exists in you.

Why am I afraid of my own power?

Because you have no idea what true power even looks like. You have been brainwashed by divisive power structures that have nothing to do with true power. True power is free of fear’s influence. Have you ever felt that or even seen it?

I have seen it only in Nature.

What does it look like?

It looks like a Lioness lazily licking herself, trusting that prey will come her way. It looks like sister-Panther, graceful and at ease, knowing that success is assured. It looks like Squirrel, playing and gathering in just the right amounts. It looks like Owl, flying silently with clear sight in the dark.

Why do you doubt that the same power that is in ALL is also within you? You’ve been conditioned to play small and believe that power is somewhere outside yourself; something that must be earned by devotion and sacrifice to something outside of yourself. These are remnants of a toxic upbringing, infused with toxic and feminine-excluded power. You know better. You feel it in the truth of your rage. It seems personal but is intertwined in the collective feminine experience of the world. The truth does not enrage you. It is the denial of the truth that you feel. You have a choice. Change your story and use your voice. What do you want to create in the world? What do you want the future world to look like?

I want all beings to know love, to know courage and peace, and to be safe and cared for.

To know love is to BE love. Love is an inner seed planted in the soul, just waiting to be nourished. This begins with you. The world is reflecting to you the condition of your love. Nothing matters if love is not present. BE love.

Photo by Lua Valencia on Unsplash