I Choose Conscious Creation

Your fear is showing up to offer you courage.

Shame always reveals itself when we begin to take bold steps. It is an old sense of unworthiness that rears its head, shouting at us “Who are you to dare to dream?”. We fear that we are not enough and that we don’t deserve good things. These are old demons that show up to try to stuff us back into silence and to stifle our voice of truth.

In this moment, I am overwhelmed by all of it.

As I welcome ALL, my eyes narrow as I gaze into a flame. I take a deep breath and repeat, “I see you mother fucker. I opened the door for you, but you no longer belong. I smother you with compassion and then I show you the door”.

Love is an infinitely warm blanket that smothers out the lies of fear and unworthiness. As love is offered, a deeper grief is also revealed.

A voice of remembrance of the many ways we have allowed these voices of untruth to lead us in our lives, and the moments we listened to the voices that told us, “You have nothing of value to offer. You are an imposter.”, and the many times we believed those lies.

I still hear that voice that tells me to look pretty and play nice, but I no longer accept it as truth.

I choose conscious creation.

I choose to build on the strengths that have always been in me, to embrace the mistakes I have made in the past, and choose differently in the present.

I choose to forgive myself for not knowing what I did not know.

I choose to stop wondering if what I have to offer is “good enough” and remind myself that I matter, that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I choose to offer myself a little more; a little more love, a little more self-care, and the permission to just enjoy BEing.

Giving just a little more of myself allows me to offer more to others. And so it is.

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash