The Seductive Illusion of External Validation
You do yourself and the world no good when you play small with your life. Many times, rage rises up when a value system has been violated and when we feel our personal integrity is in jeopardy. Rage is a great teacher of our own value and worth. In many ways, the world mirrors back to us the condition of our own self-love and self-respect.
In this moment, anger is teaching me and reminding me of the many ways I have sacrificed my own worth and shown others my low expectations for being seen and valued. Resentment rises up when our attention and focus is missing its mark. Anger and resentment rise up when we feel that we are giving much more than we are receiving. The truth in this illusion is that we are just focusing our “giving” in the wrong direction. The lessons rise up when we realize that what we are giving to others, we must first be offering to ourselves.
The constant need for external love and validation creates a seductive and obsessive illusion. Love and acceptance are not somewhere outside of ourselves, or something we need to search for or earn. The strength of its foundation is within us, all around us, and in the natural world. The strength and resolve of our commitment to love begins with the love we have for ourselves and radiates into everything around us, magnetizing the same energy back to us. Rage shows us where there are cracks in our foundation of self-worth, the spaces that can only be filled by offering ourselves the love, the time, the acceptance, and the care that we are longing for.
The lessons in belonging are our longings for our right to BE; the right to be seen, to be heard, and to be accepted exactly as we are. The lessons of belonging are that we first belong to ourselves, which requires a fierce and determined acknowledgement of our own wholeness, and our own value and worth exactly as we are. Our worth is not negotiable and as we return to belonging to ourselves, we see that we belong to ALL; nowhere and everywhere. It is the infinite value of BEing a manifestation of Creation, a perfectly imperfect work of art with both beauty and flaws.
The world will never offer us what we have not first offered ourselves. As we acknowledge and embrace our own beauty and strength, external validation loses its seductive charm. Connection and intimacy with others are inborn needs of humanity and necessary for our own well-being. The truth in this need becomes distorted by fear if we do not first learn how to connect with and become intimate with ourselves and our inner world. This understanding allows us to understand ourselves and our world with clear vision. We become aware of the situations and relationships that are superficial representations of true connection and intimacy. This clear-sightedness allows us to weed out all that is within us and in our lives that lack the depth of our understanding. All the people, places, and situations that embody the depth of true love will remain as we deepen the love within ourselves. All others will begin to dissolve away and lose their relevance in the life we are handcrafting with intention.
Choose in each moment to begin again and to commit to love in all forms, beginning with self-love. This intentional creation of truth will transform everything around you. Ask yourself in this moment what you need, what you desire, and what you wish to create in yourself and the world around you. Make this offering to yourself and watch in awe as you craft your own Magic. And so it is.
Photo by Alllie on Unsplash